What it really means when you SAY NO

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Since I can remember, I have always found the urge to be there for everyone that needed me . It was my way of showing them I cared , what they were going through mattered , most importantly I wanted to show them they can depend on me . Along the way it started out as a gesture that developed into a necessity of obligation from me . The more I began to think about how I adopted this practice the more I started to see where I was not serving me . Recently I shared the importance of

GIVING Yourself GRACE  .

 which I shared on tip on saying No ... which looked like this .....

 SAY NO

  1. sounds so easy right ? This was the hardest practice I had to adopt.  During a therapy session my therapist asked me Which one would come First ? My goals or making people happy. You have to be willing to say no to things that are not helping you get closer to your goals. If your plate is full simply say “Thank you for inviting me , I am sorry I can not make it at this time.” The Grace if giving yourself the time to achieve what you have in mind . Girl when I say this got me all the way together... if you need your fixed grab it all Here 

 

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Within giving yourself grace we must take the proper time to pour into ourselves.The truth of the matter is we are really doing a disservice to ourselves.  what I am learning, because I am still growing is we can still be supportive which can look differently then breaking our necks to show someone we care .Now this is by no means to be used to flat out blow someone off , or miss out on important things . Please be very mindful, what goes around will definitely serve you as well.

 

“Showing up begins long before you stand at the start. Prove yourself an exception in a world where people talk more than act. Intent without follow-through is hollow. Disappoint yourself enough times and empty is how you feel. Make yourself proud. Fill yourself up.

Show up.”

In order to achieve the things you have on your vision boards , planners, phones , notepads or where ever else you save the things you are passionate about ....  There are somethings you must have in order to make them happen ... This will require you to be present.  

 

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 Saying No Means...  

Understanding you cannot be at every event although you would love too it just is not possible. I use to find myself showing up to every single thing. It did not matter if I was physically tired, if I had to drive 3 hours one way to get there . Even if I needed to work on something for me but decided that could wait . What I learned through therapy is that I was making everyone else needs more important than my own . When it came time to work on my dream I would be too tired and put it off until the next day. 

The Fix: Evaluate the importance of the event and make sure it won’t affect you FIRST. Just like they say on an airplane you have to put your mask on first before you can save someone else.   

Saying No Means ... 

letting them know how proud you are of them . While celebrating them from where you. This can look like sending  them some flowers. Maybe a Facebook shoutout. Or if the friendship is really real , they will understand and be ready to celebrate when you too link up next . 

 

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 Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.-Oprah Winfrey 

 

 

 

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Saying No Means ... 

Choosing  you . Over and Over Again . And I mean this in the most unselfish way . It is extremely important that you make yourself a priority, if you don’t nobody will . What I also learned is while I was showing up for every not everybody was showing up back for me . The difference was it Was a choice . You can not expect someone to make the same choice you made .  

 

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As we walk into 2019 , Celebrate where you are , what you overcome and what you are about to conquer.

Style Details 

Jacket: Forever21

Top: SheeApparel  

Pants  : Target  

Shoes : Target

kick Ass Lipstick: Jacklyn Hills  

 

 “Fashion is not necessarily about labels. It’s not about brands. It’s about something else that comes from within you.” – Ralph Lauren